Please God, Not Again | The story of our second miscarriage

Please God, Not Again - The story of our second miscarriage | Vibrant Life Army Wife

Last April, I shared the story of our first baby, Ellis Ford. Well, I’m here today to share the story of our second baby that I was blessed to carry for a short time…

Despite the overwhelming grief of losing our first baby, we were determined to try again. And we were blessed to conceive our second baby just over 2 months after the loss of our first. We got the positive pregnancy test on July 9th and spent the next 2 1/2 weeks in a weird dichotomy of feelings – utter joy and terrible fear. And our fears unfortunately came true on July 28th. Continue reading

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Ginger-Berry Zinger Smoothie

Ginger-Berry Zinger Smoothie |

In the past, whenever I would get stressed or sad or overcome with essentially any sort of emotion, my inclination was to eat. So it was a totally foreign feeling for me when I completely lost my appetite after the loss of our child. Continue reading

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Am I a Mom?

Am I a Mom? | #miscarriage #angelbaby #MothersDay

With Mother’s Day coming up on Sunday I’ve found myself wondering “Am I a mom?”

When you find out you’re going to have a baby, people will say “you’re going to be parents,” implying, even if they don’t intend to, that you’re not yet a parent while the baby is still inside of you. But while I was pregnant I made plans for our baby, I made sacrifices for our baby, I made decisions based on what was best for our baby, and I loved our baby. And when I was in the hospital delivering him, I had to sign paperwork to release him to the hospital after he was born. The nurse told me to sign where it said “mother.” And I know I never held my baby, or changed his diaper, or watched him go off to school, but he is my child and I love him, and I feel the pain of losing him every single day. That all certainly sounds like mom behavior to me. So the question still stands…. Am I, without any children on this side of heaven, a mom? Continue reading

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This Side of Heaven | The story of our first miscarriage

This Side of Heaven - the story of our first miscarriage | Vibrant Life Army Wife

Two weeks ago today should have been a great day. I should have gone to my doctor appointment, seen my sweet, now 14 week old baby on the ultrasound, and found out their gender (or at least a pretty good guess). I should have then left my appointment and gone to Target to pick out an outfit for either a little girl or a little boy, wrapped it in cute baby-themed packaging, and waited for my husband to come home from work so he could unwrap it and find out whether we would be welcoming a little boy or a little girl into our family this October. Instead, I found out that our baby no longer had a heartbeat.  Continue reading

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